The Basic Chick’s Top 5 Artists
Posted by The Maven
Posted in Wellness
Before we get into the list, I want to make sure you understand that the contents of this article are through my experiences only. The reference material used for research and statistics included Black Twitter, college parties, ringtones heard in Wal-Mart and more.
I may catch a little heat for this one, especially from the sophisticated Beyonce fans, but there’s no denying that Beyonce will most likely be on the Basic Chick’s playlist. Of course she is an icon in music, and rightfully so, but some of her qualities will keep her on this list for quite some time. She’s married to Jay Z, a Hip Hop mogul and mega millionaire. With the Basic Chick constantly interested in the lives of others, it’s impossible for her to avoid such a high profile couple. Known for her creative dance moves, one can argue that at least one move from each of her uptempo vides has been emulated in the mirror by a simple chick.
4) Chris Brown/Trey Songz
I was fortunate enough to be brought up listening to R&B legends such as Luther Vandross, Marvin Gaye and Boyz II Men. That type of music with substance is long gone in today’s mainstream music and the genre of R&B has been on a downward trend since the growth of Hip Hop. That opened up the doors for those with decent vocals and sex appeal to enter the limelight. With the Basic Chick not caring at all about lyrics, all she needs is a sexy R&B stud to sing her a catchy hook and to imagine herself in the bedroom with. 90% of Basic Chicks overlooked the fact that Chris Brown beat up a woman and immediately pointed fingers at Rihanna, saying she deserved the beat down.
3) Big Sean
Ass, Ass, Ass, Ass, Ass, Ass…….Ass x Infinity. Big Sean, you were already an important figure in the Basic Chick’s life, but with your latest single Dance (Ass) she might as well put you at the top of this list. Combining forces with Nicki Minaj on the remix just caused the simple chick to have a seizure out of excitement. I give props to Big Sean, he understands in today’s mainstream music you gotta have a catchy hook, even if it’s mildly retarded.
2) Nicki Minaj
Remember taking a normal trip to the grocery store, mall, or any public establishment and being surprised by a black woman with Pink hair? I’m sure you do, it wasn’t too long ago and we can all blame Nicki Minaj for that failure in human history. For me, in today’s society I admire the likes of scholars such as Dr. Cornel West for his constant discussion on social issues, or Muhammad Ali for using his popularity to send a message promoting against war. For the Basic Chick, her role model for the past few years has been Pink Barbie for bringing back women to Hip Hop. She may not know what year the next Presidential election is, but she sure does know every lyric on Pink Friday. With a crazy figure (her body is crazy), a face maxed out on make-up, and songs that literally make no sense, how could a Basic Chick not adore Nicki? 98% of Basic Chicks have a Nicki Minaj ringtone and/or call tone.
1) Boosie, Webbie, Soulja Boy, Wacka Flocka [Insert Any Coon Rapper]
The #1 trait of any Basic Chick is her high tolerance for ignorance. She could be in the club, listening to a song with lyrics about raping women, as long as it has a hot beat she’s gonna jig her ass off. She dedicated a #FreeTIP tweet every day during his incarceration for gun charges, but has no clue who Troy Davis is. Her love for hood music allows an artist like Plies to eat salads full of $100 bills (true story) while an aspiring artists with a purpose is denied by a record label for not being “marketable” enough.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with listening to the artists listed above, but if at least 3 of them are your FAVORITE artists I will say a prayer for you tonight.